Rita Skeeter Drabbles
by ProblematiqueRoyale
Summary: This semester I'm taking an English class at my college called "Harry Potter & His Contexts." We were each assigned a character and are required to write from their perspective for a variety of activities. Mine was Rita Skeeter. Had fun writing these, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Rita Skeeter Drabbles

(From class: Harry Potter & His Contexts, Spring 2017)

I do not own these characters.

 **What is your favorite color and why?**

My favorite color is green, of course. For me, the color represents fresh ideas and a taste for the unknown–two qualities I am proud to possess.

My lovely Quick-Quotes Quill is a particularly bright shade of green, and it inspires me to write only the finest pieces of hard-hitting investigative journalism.

Just the other day, I was interviewing the Minister himself (I am one of the only reporters at the _Prophet_ trusted for such high-profile interviews), and he expressed admiration for my Quill. He's fond of green as well (that bowler hat he wears!), which is testament to the fact that only the most elite and powerful appreciate green. Now, why he pairs his hat with the horrible color purple, I couldn't say. In fact, I heard that he has a great deal of trouble maintaining a presentable look, but of course you didn't hear that from me.

Yes, I think green is a fine representation of my prowess as a revered journalist. There is simply nothing better.

Signed,

Rita Skeeter

"Intelligent. Compelling. Lovely."

 _Daily Prophet_ Reporter


	2. Chapter 2

Rita Skeeter Drabbles 2

I do not own these characters.

 **What is your favorite spell?**

I am writing this down in my personal journal in the hope that one day it will be published in my autobiography –when it won't get me into much trouble. One spell that I have always wanted to use is the Imperius Curse. Imagine the possibilities! No more eavesdropping, no more crafting quotes with my Quick-Quotes Quill. I would be able to easily _build_ my own stories–using real people! Harry Potter's antics in class wouldn't have been rumors, I could have made them come true! I could pull quotes from the mouths of my interviewees with a flick of my wand. And then I would have the ultimate power, because only I would be able to repair the chaos I created–and I love creating chaos. I would be the most sought-after journalist in the Wizarding World.

The idiots at the Ministry would never let me do that, of course. That's why I have been reduced to skulking where I am not welcome as a beetle. Luckily, I believe that I'm a rather lovely beetle, but that's besides the point.

One day, I shall be able to write the stories I really want to write. The world could simply be a pool for my ideas. Some of my upcoming stories are below, in case I should forget.

Dumbledore's Mysterious Life as a Bachelor

How James and Lily Potter Really Died: An Inside Scoop

What Severus Snape Uses in His Hair and Why He Should Be Rid of It Immediately

How Ollivander is Losing His Touch

Why Muggle Children Are More Dangerous Than Ever, An Exclusive Interview with Lucius Malfoy

Obviously, I have no bias when choosing interviewees, but I am positively giddy thinking about how I could build those stories using the Imperius Curse.

Sincerely, the always charming

Rita Skeeter


	3. Chapter 3

From _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore_

By Rita Skeeter

As I have always said, the Potter-Dumbledore relationship was definitely unhealthy–maybe even sinister. I doubt our hero Dumby truly had the best interests of The Boy Who Lived (AKA The Chosen One) in mind. Just look at all the dangers the poor boy faced at school! _Why_ did Harry face You-Know-Who alone in his first year–at the tender age of eleven at that? _What_ was really in the Chamber of Secrets and _why_ did Dumbledore trust a twelve-year-old to defend himself with a valuable sword, risking his life? _Why_ didn't the beloved Hogwarts headmaster pull Harry out o the Triwizard Tournament, instead opting to risk his life once more for little more than publicity?

Luckily, I am one of the few people who truly knows Harry, who no doubt has had a dark and troubled adolescence. I have had the privilege to interview him amid the turmoil that Dumbledore put him through, during the Triwizard Tournament _and_ when he urged the Wizarding world to accept the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Potter is a quiet, sensitive boy, no doubt a result of his so-called "private lessons" and exchanges with his headmaster.

In fact, these days his disappearance has made me wonder if he is even hiding from You-Know-Who. Who's to say that he wants to be The Chosen One, as Dumbledore undoubtedly urged? I have verifiable sources that tell me, in fact, that Harry Potter is hiding from the Wizarding world out of shame. We all know he was seen fleeing the scene of Dumbledore's death. Perhaps he grew weary of the elder wizard's demands–many of which risked Potter's life. Maybe he decided to put an end to it himself and make his escape! More on this story continued in Chapter 17.

Rita Skeeter

©1997 Wizarding Publishing Co.


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